Umis
One day, Umis felt like going to the eeewis.
Glumger knew the way. So he led Umis to the eeewis.
But when they got there, they saw something awful -- even more awful than Data teasing them with Rockets and chocolate and grape Pez -- was the eeewis up in a giant ball of flames.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EHHHH! BA! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" shreiked Umis.
"NOOOOOOOOO! EH! HEH!" was Glumger's response.
The slide was half melted. The metal was too hot to touch. The flexible swings were all big puddles of melted plastic. The wooden benches were all just piles of firewood. Why was the eeewis on fire? Why would anyone do such a thing? Because Duganis, the second most wanted criminal in the universe got a pack of matches for his 13th birthday, and he wanted to test them out on something he didn't like, incase they worked. And sure enough, they did. Here are the reasons why Duganis doesn't like the eeewis:
They were always swarming with glumis. Duganis HATES glumis.
He is too big to fit on the slide.
The monkey bars were so short that he couldn't hang on with both hands.
Duganis's girlfriend, Duganette, also got an evil present for her 13th birthday. But hers was even more evil. It was a ray gun with 2 settings. They were disintegration and freeze.
The grocery store was a big block of ice. The high school was a giant pile of ashes. The houses were all flooded becuase the ice had melted. And the eeewis was on fire, and the melted swings were now boiling puddles of plastic. The fire department never came because they were already frozen.
"Ehhhhhhhhhhhh! I saw the eeewis on fire! Ba!" said Umis, in tears when they got home. "What!?" Linda said.
Then, on the TV, the news came on.
"Hello, this is Jessie McEeew reporting live that...." on and on went the news. All they did was show picutres or fires, ashes, floods and ice, and talk for what seemed like forever. "Wow, this is true, you didn't just have the brain worms!" said Nila.
After Nila had mentioned the brain worms, that just made the family wonder if Umis did really have the brain worms.
On TV, they saw this fancy X-ray that shows a detailed picture of the inside of your brain, and then they went to the place where they could get Umis scanned for brain worms.
Later, they found out that Umis had 7 brain worms, 4 patches of glumis gunk, which makes you dumb, and lots of dumbness invaders, which also make you dumb.
"Umis, we have to get the brain worms out." said Linda. "But no." said Umis. "But yes, Umis, we have to." replied Linda. "But want to put out the eeewis fire! We can't just let it burn!" said Umis.
So everybody got a bucket of water, and Umis got a Barbie cup. But then, some random boy came door to door delivering notes. Then, he gave one to Gooka. It was handwritten. It said:
The local playground is so burnt that you can't even use it. Sorry about that. Police are looking for Duganis to put him in jail.
Umis freaked. He spun around and around like a tornado. His tears were like rain. His shouting was super loud. Dead Sophie said she was only living because Umis's shouting 'woke the dead'.
Dead Sophie only had the nickname "Dead" Sophie because her hair looked like a pile of dead leaves, according to Data.
But since then, she has been claiming that she was some kind of ghost or something. Her bed was a coffin and for her mobile she had swords hanging above her head. Everyone knew that she was really alive, but she didn't care. Because, what were you supposed to think when you died 106 years ago? Nothing, because you were dead, right? So that's the plan she stuck with. Oliver, their dad, always feared that the swords would fall and hit her brain and then she would really be Dead Sophie. Just wait 106 years and her little story would be true.
"Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis! Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis!" chanted the TV commercial. It was advertising a doll of Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis. Data couldn't wait until the commercial was over. But 30 seconds seemed like 57 seconds. And those 57 seconds seemed like... 84 seconds. So Data was so mad that he broke the umbrella by the back door.
"Who um.... broke the umbrella!?" said Linda. "Heh-heh..." said Data. "Heh-heh" was something the mostly the gloomis of the house said, but then again, they were the ones that did the most bad things. It was something that they said when they did something that they knew was wrong. Somethimes Data said it too.
"Data, 'heh-heh' is just a mesage that you did something bad. And I know that you broke the umbrella," said Nila.
Data was sent to his room for 1 hour. He shot his targets of his brothers.
Then, Data's friends from the kill crew broke the window and jumped in. "Hey!" said Data. "Hi! We were wondering if we could SHOOT SOME GLOOMDOWNS!" “Sure!” said Data.
One week later, everybody heard something.
"Grandinolium! Grandinolium! Grandom, Grandom, Grand Grand Grandom!"
said a super loud voice. There was no question who said that. It was Grandom.
Glumger noticed that the house was bouncing -- and every bonce had space in between it-about as long as footstep. Then, Nila looked out the window. "It's Grandom! Walking down the road 200 towns over.”
The house was bouncing wildly. Cherry loved to jump on her bed, but her mom, Linda, always said she would get hurt and the springs would break. Cherry was in bed for her nap, but then because of Grandom, she was bouncing on her bed really high. "Wohooo!" she shouted. Then, as Grandom came closer, she started to go higher, until she went up so high that she broke a hole in the ceiling really hard and fell on to the floor 1 foot away from the bed. "Ouch....." she said.
Umis was playing around on a little ledge, and the bouncing made him fall into the gabage can. "Eeew! Garbage!" said Umis.
After Umis fell into the garbage, he was gone. Then, the family saw Umis flying by the yard -- in a ball of flames!
“DATA POUDISHON! WHY DID YOU SET YOUR BROTHER ON FIRE!?" yelled Oliver. Umis crashed to the ground. “Umis! Are you okay!?” said Linda. “EHHHH!" Umis yelled. “I’m hurt,” he added.
“Enjoy your 3rd degree burn!” said Nila, walking away.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!” he shrieked.
“Oh, yeah! Isn’t it GREAT to see gloomdowns suffer!?" Data yelled.
“Uh, Data, I’m right here.” said Linda. “Heh-heh!!” said Data. “Well, I’m getting out of here.” Dead Sophie said.
Later that day, while Umis was in the hospital, everyone wanted to know how Umis got set on fire. "Umis, how did you get set on fire?" Violet asked. "Well, it's kind of a weird story... I fell into the garbage when Grandom-" Umis was interrupted by Grandom smashing a hole through the wall and yelling "YOU CALLED?" Everybody covered their ears. "Actually, no, we didn't," Fiji said, "and what kind of creepy stalker are you to know we said your name?" she added. "Ummm.... never mind." Grandom said, pulling his head out of the hospital, banging his head about 600 times in the process.
Nila and Aleesia laughed at him, until he started yelling out in pain and everybody covered their ears again.
After Grandom had left, Umis continued his story. "Anyway, I fell in the garbage. And you probably won't believe this, but there was a series of trap doors leading to the garbage, the corner store -- oh yoh! Snacks! -- The library -- boring, I can't read -- and even up into the clouds! Anyway, there was a bunch of rats in the tunnels who set me on fire. Then, I jumped out the trap door to get away from them but it was too late before I realized that was the in-the-clouds trap door." "Okay, Umis. What really happened?" Gooka asked. "Anyway, I fell in the garbage. And you probably won't believe this, but there was a series of trap doors leading to the garbage, the corner store -- oh yoh! Snacks! -- The library -- boring, I can't read -- and even up into the clouds! Anyway, there was a bunch of rats in the tunnels who set me on fire. Then, I jumped out the trap door to get away from them but it was too late before I realized that was the in-the-clouds trap door," Umis said, "and I told you that you probably wouldn't believe it, but that's what happened!"
The end!
Glumger knew the way. So he led Umis to the eeewis.
But when they got there, they saw something awful -- even more awful than Data teasing them with Rockets and chocolate and grape Pez -- was the eeewis up in a giant ball of flames.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EHHHH! BA! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" shreiked Umis.
"NOOOOOOOOO! EH! HEH!" was Glumger's response.
The slide was half melted. The metal was too hot to touch. The flexible swings were all big puddles of melted plastic. The wooden benches were all just piles of firewood. Why was the eeewis on fire? Why would anyone do such a thing? Because Duganis, the second most wanted criminal in the universe got a pack of matches for his 13th birthday, and he wanted to test them out on something he didn't like, incase they worked. And sure enough, they did. Here are the reasons why Duganis doesn't like the eeewis:
They were always swarming with glumis. Duganis HATES glumis.
He is too big to fit on the slide.
The monkey bars were so short that he couldn't hang on with both hands.
Duganis's girlfriend, Duganette, also got an evil present for her 13th birthday. But hers was even more evil. It was a ray gun with 2 settings. They were disintegration and freeze.
The grocery store was a big block of ice. The high school was a giant pile of ashes. The houses were all flooded becuase the ice had melted. And the eeewis was on fire, and the melted swings were now boiling puddles of plastic. The fire department never came because they were already frozen.
"Ehhhhhhhhhhhh! I saw the eeewis on fire! Ba!" said Umis, in tears when they got home. "What!?" Linda said.
Then, on the TV, the news came on.
"Hello, this is Jessie McEeew reporting live that...." on and on went the news. All they did was show picutres or fires, ashes, floods and ice, and talk for what seemed like forever. "Wow, this is true, you didn't just have the brain worms!" said Nila.
After Nila had mentioned the brain worms, that just made the family wonder if Umis did really have the brain worms.
On TV, they saw this fancy X-ray that shows a detailed picture of the inside of your brain, and then they went to the place where they could get Umis scanned for brain worms.
Later, they found out that Umis had 7 brain worms, 4 patches of glumis gunk, which makes you dumb, and lots of dumbness invaders, which also make you dumb.
"Umis, we have to get the brain worms out." said Linda. "But no." said Umis. "But yes, Umis, we have to." replied Linda. "But want to put out the eeewis fire! We can't just let it burn!" said Umis.
So everybody got a bucket of water, and Umis got a Barbie cup. But then, some random boy came door to door delivering notes. Then, he gave one to Gooka. It was handwritten. It said:
The local playground is so burnt that you can't even use it. Sorry about that. Police are looking for Duganis to put him in jail.
Umis freaked. He spun around and around like a tornado. His tears were like rain. His shouting was super loud. Dead Sophie said she was only living because Umis's shouting 'woke the dead'.
Dead Sophie only had the nickname "Dead" Sophie because her hair looked like a pile of dead leaves, according to Data.
But since then, she has been claiming that she was some kind of ghost or something. Her bed was a coffin and for her mobile she had swords hanging above her head. Everyone knew that she was really alive, but she didn't care. Because, what were you supposed to think when you died 106 years ago? Nothing, because you were dead, right? So that's the plan she stuck with. Oliver, their dad, always feared that the swords would fall and hit her brain and then she would really be Dead Sophie. Just wait 106 years and her little story would be true.
"Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis! Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis!" chanted the TV commercial. It was advertising a doll of Uoomis, the Hunting Gloomis. Data couldn't wait until the commercial was over. But 30 seconds seemed like 57 seconds. And those 57 seconds seemed like... 84 seconds. So Data was so mad that he broke the umbrella by the back door.
"Who um.... broke the umbrella!?" said Linda. "Heh-heh..." said Data. "Heh-heh" was something the mostly the gloomis of the house said, but then again, they were the ones that did the most bad things. It was something that they said when they did something that they knew was wrong. Somethimes Data said it too.
"Data, 'heh-heh' is just a mesage that you did something bad. And I know that you broke the umbrella," said Nila.
Data was sent to his room for 1 hour. He shot his targets of his brothers.
Then, Data's friends from the kill crew broke the window and jumped in. "Hey!" said Data. "Hi! We were wondering if we could SHOOT SOME GLOOMDOWNS!" “Sure!” said Data.
One week later, everybody heard something.
"Grandinolium! Grandinolium! Grandom, Grandom, Grand Grand Grandom!"
said a super loud voice. There was no question who said that. It was Grandom.
Glumger noticed that the house was bouncing -- and every bonce had space in between it-about as long as footstep. Then, Nila looked out the window. "It's Grandom! Walking down the road 200 towns over.”
The house was bouncing wildly. Cherry loved to jump on her bed, but her mom, Linda, always said she would get hurt and the springs would break. Cherry was in bed for her nap, but then because of Grandom, she was bouncing on her bed really high. "Wohooo!" she shouted. Then, as Grandom came closer, she started to go higher, until she went up so high that she broke a hole in the ceiling really hard and fell on to the floor 1 foot away from the bed. "Ouch....." she said.
Umis was playing around on a little ledge, and the bouncing made him fall into the gabage can. "Eeew! Garbage!" said Umis.
After Umis fell into the garbage, he was gone. Then, the family saw Umis flying by the yard -- in a ball of flames!
“DATA POUDISHON! WHY DID YOU SET YOUR BROTHER ON FIRE!?" yelled Oliver. Umis crashed to the ground. “Umis! Are you okay!?” said Linda. “EHHHH!" Umis yelled. “I’m hurt,” he added.
“Enjoy your 3rd degree burn!” said Nila, walking away.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!” he shrieked.
“Oh, yeah! Isn’t it GREAT to see gloomdowns suffer!?" Data yelled.
“Uh, Data, I’m right here.” said Linda. “Heh-heh!!” said Data. “Well, I’m getting out of here.” Dead Sophie said.
Later that day, while Umis was in the hospital, everyone wanted to know how Umis got set on fire. "Umis, how did you get set on fire?" Violet asked. "Well, it's kind of a weird story... I fell into the garbage when Grandom-" Umis was interrupted by Grandom smashing a hole through the wall and yelling "YOU CALLED?" Everybody covered their ears. "Actually, no, we didn't," Fiji said, "and what kind of creepy stalker are you to know we said your name?" she added. "Ummm.... never mind." Grandom said, pulling his head out of the hospital, banging his head about 600 times in the process.
Nila and Aleesia laughed at him, until he started yelling out in pain and everybody covered their ears again.
After Grandom had left, Umis continued his story. "Anyway, I fell in the garbage. And you probably won't believe this, but there was a series of trap doors leading to the garbage, the corner store -- oh yoh! Snacks! -- The library -- boring, I can't read -- and even up into the clouds! Anyway, there was a bunch of rats in the tunnels who set me on fire. Then, I jumped out the trap door to get away from them but it was too late before I realized that was the in-the-clouds trap door." "Okay, Umis. What really happened?" Gooka asked. "Anyway, I fell in the garbage. And you probably won't believe this, but there was a series of trap doors leading to the garbage, the corner store -- oh yoh! Snacks! -- The library -- boring, I can't read -- and even up into the clouds! Anyway, there was a bunch of rats in the tunnels who set me on fire. Then, I jumped out the trap door to get away from them but it was too late before I realized that was the in-the-clouds trap door," Umis said, "and I told you that you probably wouldn't believe it, but that's what happened!"
The end!
Special thanks to Marcy for the story idea:
Perhaps there is a trap door that leads directly into a serries of secret tunnels that allows the rat pack to get around do stealthy ?